For five years, I had the privilege of serving as a small group leader in my church. But if I’m being honest, I often struggled with being a woman in ministry. When I first stepped into leadership, I didn’t see myself as someone with all the answers. I wasn’t a commanding figure or a charismatic speaker. I was just me, trying to serve faithfully. I saw myself more as a facilitator—someone bridging the gap between the church’s mission and the needs of my group members. But even in that, I sometimes questioned whether I was enough.
Over time, though, I came to realize that leadership isn’t about being perfect or having all the right solutions. It’s about obedience, creating space for others to grow, and exercising wisdom in both small and large decisions. And through the ups and downs, God taught me three lessons that shaped not only how I led but also how I grew deeper in my faith.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” — Proverbs 31:26
Lesson 1: Obedience and Trusting God’s Guidance
One of the biggest challenges I faced in leadership was learning to trust God’s guidance, especially in moments of uncertainty. There were times when deciding on the next study topic, planning group activities, or even addressing personal conflicts within the group felt overwhelming. I remember one particular time when a tough issue arose between two members. I had no idea how to navigate it without making things worse. I felt the weight of responsibility pressing on me—wondering if I was really cut out for this.
But it was in those very moments that I realized God doesn’t call us to lead from our own strength. He equips us when we submit to His will. I learned that leadership is often about stepping back, praying for wisdom, and simply obeying what God puts on your heart. When I let go of the need to “fix” everything myself, I began to see His guidance show up in ways I hadn’t expected. Slowly, I learned to trust that God had placed me in that position for a reason and that He would guide me step by step.
This shifted my perspective on leadership. I no longer felt like I had to control everything. Instead, I became a vessel, trusting that God’s wisdom was more than enough to lead us all forward.
Lesson 2: Creating Spaces for Prayer and Connection
One of the most rewarding aspects of leading a small group was the opportunity to build a sense of community. From the start, I knew I wanted our group to be more than just a Bible study. I wanted it to be a space where people felt safe to share their lives, their struggles, and their victories. Each week, we would begin by gathering together to share updates—personal stories about our work, families, and faith journeys.
I still remember the first time a member opened up about a deep personal struggle. There was a vulnerability in the room that I hadn’t expected, but it also created an incredible sense of connection. That honesty paved the way for others to share their own challenges, and slowly, we became more than a group—we became a spiritual family.
After our time of sharing, we would break into smaller, gender-specific groups for prayer. I found that dividing into men’s and women’s groups allowed for deeper, more personal conversations. The women, in particular, opened up in ways they might not have in a mixed setting. I noticed how much we needed that space—not just to connect with each other, but to connect more intimately with God.
I cherish those moments of prayer. It wasn’t just about saying the right words but about coming together, bearing each other’s burdens, and lifting them up to the Lord. I often left those prayer sessions feeling more encouraged and uplifted than I had expected.
Lesson 3: Wisdom in Maintaining Boundaries
As a woman leading a mixed-gender group, I had to learn the importance of setting healthy boundaries, especially with the men in the group. At first, I wasn’t sure how to navigate this dynamic. How could I provide spiritual leadership while maintaining the proper boundaries? I didn’t want to overstep, but I also didn’t want to distance myself too much.
Eventually, I found a balance that worked. I made it a point to minister to the men through their wives whenever possible. It felt more appropriate, and it also strengthened the bond between the couples. I saw how this approach not only protected the integrity of my leadership but also allowed the husbands and wives to grow together spiritually. It taught me that wisdom in leadership isn’t just about making the right decisions; it’s also about creating boundaries that foster respect and trust.
Navigating Scripture and Women in Ministry
Even as I grew in my role, I often reflected on the broader conversation about women’s roles in ministry. I’ve always been aware that not all denominations interpret women’s leadership the same way. Scriptures like 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 and 1 Timothy 2:12, which some take as limiting women from speaking or leading, can weigh heavily on your heart when you’re a woman called to lead.
I wrestled with these verses myself. I wanted to understand them fully, to know if I was stepping outside of God’s will. But through study and prayer, I came to understand these passages in their cultural context. Paul’s advice to the early church was often in response to specific issues—like disruptions in worship or the spread of false teaching—and may not have been intended as a universal rule for all times and places.
Women like Deborah, Priscilla, and Phoebe were strong leaders in scripture, and their examples reassured me. God doesn’t confine His calling to one gender. He equips both men and women to serve, teach, and lead His people, and I felt confident that my role in the Methodist Church was affirmed by both scripture and God’s Spirit.
Leading with Humility and Service
Throughout my leadership journey, one truth became clear: leadership is less about authority and more about service. I saw myself not as someone with all the answers, but as a facilitator. My role was to create an environment where others could connect with God and each other, growing in faith along the way. Leadership isn’t about exerting power; it’s about humility, about being a servant who makes room for others to encounter the grace of God.
Affirming God’s Call on Women in Ministry
The Methodist Church’s affirmation of women in ministry has been a source of encouragement for me. While some denominations may have differing views on women in leadership, I’ve learned to rest in God’s calling. His call on our lives transcends cultural boundaries and interpretations. As long as we are faithful to what He has asked us to do, we are fulfilling His purpose.
I’ve seen firsthand that God equips those He calls, regardless of gender. My role is to trust His guidance and create space for others to experience His love and truth.
Conclusion: Moving Forward in Wisdom and Grace
If you’re a woman in leadership and you’ve wrestled with questions about your role, know this: God’s calling on your life is what matters most. Leadership isn’t about claiming authority; it’s about serving others with wisdom, humility, and grace. As long as we trust in God’s wisdom and remain faithful to His call, we are fulfilling the purpose He has set before us.
Proverbs 31:26 reminds us that a woman who leads with wisdom speaks with faithful instruction. Let us embrace that calling, creating spaces where others can grow, connect, and experience the grace of God in new way.
